|Scarabaeidia aka Kenyan Dung Beetle|
Tucked deep inside the latest massive appropriations bill and almost hidden among the thousands of pork barrel request is an obscure item which few have noticed. This item is simply labeled "Importation of Scarabaeidia". Few if any members of Congress read these bills, as they delegate these unimportant matters to staffers. It seems that representative I. C. Feces, a junior republican congressman from the sovereign state of Alabama managed to slip this small request into this enormous trillion dollar bill. The cost of this pork barrel project is a measly $3,000,000 dollars, a mere drop in the bucket by congressional standards. This request calls for the importation of some three million Scarabaeidia, which comes to a cost of a dollar each, seemingly a bargain. When asked my a curious reporter why these Scarabaeidia were being imported Rep. I.C. Feces replied that he intended to take the little creatures to Washington and turn them loose near the Capital and White House as the amount of crap coming out of both was endangering the health of the nation. The representative further indicated that at first he thought not to release the Scarabaeidia near the Oval Office for fear the sometime vicious creatures would attack the small brown balls in that immediate area, but that upon further consideration he concluded the the threat was minimal due to the small size of these brown balls, hell they were nearly invisible and the Scarabaeidia had no chance of finding them. Shocked the reporter asked what the Scarabaeidia could do about all that crap, Rep. I.C. Feces laughed and replied, "the Scarabaeidia, aka Kenyan Dung Beetle is the best shit-eater in the world having developed a voracious appetite for all the crap in its native Kenya"!
by Ron Russell
by Ron Russell